How to Bring Sex Toys Into Your Relationship

Chances are, if you’re reading this blog and browsing our site, you’re probably at least somewhat familiar with sex toys – or at least with the idea of them. We can all agree, sex toys are fabulous and brimming with possibilities. While many users have no issues with breaking out sex toys for some solo fun, bringing sex toys into a relationship and using them with a partner can be… well, tricky. There’s often a sense of worry that your partner might judge your toy proclivity, or be intimidated or insulted by the idea of including some additional components to the bedroom.

Here at The Pink Boxxe, we think that’s a taboo that needs to be kicked, especially considering the fact that toys can help open up a whole new universe of possibilities and pleasure for all users. And after all, isn’t good sex all about increasing pleasure and satisfaction? It’s a simple fact, toys can accomplish things our bodies can’t—like pulsing and vibrating in different modes. These unique sensations are the difference-makers that help many people to have more consistent, frequent, and quality orgasms.

In this month’s blog, we’ll look at ways to bring your buzzing, pulsing, vibrating friends into the bedroom with you without turning off your human partner(s).

Increase the Communication

The idea of incorporating sex toys (or anything else that might excite you) into your sexual relationship is always easier if you and your partner already have open, regular conversations about sex. Giving your partner feedback about what they’re doing that works for you can be a good transition to talking more in-depth about everything. After all, honest communication is vital to hot sex. Even if it’s a one night stand or a casual hookup, what could be hotter than sharing what turns you on, and asking your partner what turns them on? After all, these fling relationships are still a chance for both of you to have your sexual needs met.

So open up the floodgates, talk about your interests, and find ways to make the idea fun. The more transparent you are about your needs, preferences and sexuality, the more likely you are to have fulfillment in the bedroom. Sharing your thoughts and interests in regards to sex toys can also help break through some of the common concerns that your partner might judge your collection of pleasure enhancers. After all, we should all be like Ariel and show off all of our neat stuff, right?

Don’t Make It A Competition

Nobody wants to feel like they’re inadequate, right? This insecurity is one of the leading reasons why people can be hesitant to introduce sex toys to their partnered play. Let suggesting sex toys be a positive, enthusiastic, sexy idea you can both get excited about—rather than something that needs to happen to improve upon a sex life that’s somehow deficient, or worse, performance that’s not up to your standards.

This does not mean you shouldn’t communicate openly and honestly about all the things that turn you on and off, but if you want to smoothly introduce toys (or any new element) to your sexual repertoire, it’s usually more effective to bring up what’s hot about them rather than what’s not hot without them. This is particularly relevant if your partner is working on building up their sexual confidence.

Sexy Show and Tell

We’ve all visually stimulated creatures, right? Why not make it a show? Once you’ve decided which toys you might want to introduce to your partner, consider proposing a little in-bed demonstration of how you use the toy on yourself. This might encourage them to join in on the fun, especially if they see how much you’re enjoying it yourself. Sometimes, a sexy show-and-tell is all that’s needed to successfully communicate why something is a fabulous idea.

You may also want to buy new sex toys together. After all, you have a unique dynamic, and you bring unique desires out of one another—why shouldn’t your toys reflect that? This also ensures that you’re getting input from both partners on what would be exciting to them. Bonus: toy research and shopping can be seriously hot, and it gives you the chance to show-and-tell together while building mutual excitement.

Timing Matters

Hear us out on this one. Unless you know your new partner is into toys, consider not just whipping your toys out in the heat of the moment, as this can create pressure or stoke insecurities for some. Let’s not give anyone cause to be worried about their capabilities or anything like that. Ideally you’d set aside time when not having sex to discuss sex toys. Of course, if it’s a one night stand, a quick “how do you feel about toys?” just might suffice. If you know you won’t be seeing them again, you may feel more bold in your suggestions. Ultimately, consent is always the bottom line!

Be Pro-Inclusivity

One of the other common stigmas about sex toys in coupled relationships is that they’re just for the benefit of one partner. WRONG!

Try coming at it from a mutual-pleasure, more inclusive angle: sex toys are but one of many delicious experiences you can try together to see what you both like. Discuss the kinds of sensations you both enjoy or want to try out and how you could see toys helping you explore all that. After all, there’s probably a thing (or ten) you could learn about your partner’s pleasure too.

On top of that, sex toys are wildly diverse these days. There’s literally something out there for people of all genders, not to mention, toys specifically designed for couples. Introducing toys should be about enhancing pleasure for all involved. Maybe your partner will get off just watching how your pleasure deepens with a powerful new vibe. Or—maybe they’ll want to toy around too.

Conclusion: Just Go For It

Bottom line: introducing sex toys to a new relationship can and should be exciting! Do it with openness, honesty—and a dash of humor—and you can’t go wrong. Just be prepared for the possibility that your partner may not be on the same page, and above all, keep the conversation going!